Welcome back, how was your holiday? and some ”Quality time” (Aug21, -29days)

The image is so common. At least for me, completing now in Geneva my 5th summer… The first years we weren’t so many so you didn’t really notice or realize it but now you can tell. Most of us are back. Some tanned and most with very good stories of white and blue moments, served with generous portions of great food, impure alcohol, sea and sand. The Greeks are back in Geneva, back from their annual pilgrimage to the Greek islands and seaside mainland. Mykonos, Sifnos, Crete, Paros, Halkidiki, Kalamata, it’s not really important – the theme is consistent, always something to look forward to and surely something to talk about.

After an admittedly unsuccessful Geneva summer (try 2 months of only 5 days of consecutive real sunshine and you’ll easily agree with me on the word “unsuccessful”) we’re all back, welcoming each other with the same question: “Welcome back, how was your holiday?”. Most of us actually mean it: we want to hear what the others did, where they went, did they have a goodtime? It’s so easy to describe these holidays: only the names of places and faces change – the core, the essence is really the same. Sea, sun and lots of fun. Some family moments, catching up with friends and the occasional boy/girl story. And then back “home” (well my home at least…)

I wouldn’t say he was delighted to be back - you could tell that much. Despite the messing about and jokes from the rest of us, he wasn’t thrilled. Either because he had a fantastic time back “home” or just because the perspective of another Swiss winter (his 3rd) simply seems too daunting. Tanned, slightly slimmer, although he’ll always be a big guy, he matter-of-factly told us where he had been. It all sounded wonderful. You could see something was still missing. Well it wasn’t the duration of the break: almost 3 weeks if you include the “work from home” concept that we’ve invented. We’re so many Greeks now in Geneva that ask for this: try to work a few days (he had a whole week) from the “home office”. It makes sense after all. Not all your friends are on holiday, some are still Athens working, so you might as well do the same and see them at night. Also to remember what it was like working there. It seems so long for me, the location of the office has even changed in the meantime…

Back to my friend and that nostalgic look on his face. He spent good time back home, no debate. But did he spend enough time? For some of us it seems it is never be enough… For some of us it’s not about the days away from home but about the days we spend in this place. Not because we might not speak perfect French or because some things in Geneva are really weird by Greek standards (yes we can be the champions of weird but there are things in Geneva that even the kings/queens of weird find difficult to understand). It’s not about integration, it’s about belonging somewhere. For some of us no matter how long we spend away from that place and despite the fact that we could probably name 10 negatives for each positive if we were asked, we still love it. We long for it. I have been unable to answer the question: do I miss the place or the people that I keep really close to my heart that connect me to that place? For those that haven’t understood what “that place is”, start reading from the beginning, I am referring to Greece…

As I said, I haven’t managed to answer the question. I know I sure miss the people, my friends, and my family. It’s probably the biggest sacrifice one has to make when living abroad. And it’s a price you have to pay. Not only in money (flights and phone calls are one thing) but in real physical and psyche effort: you need to make time to see them all, to catch up with them. It’s hard. They move on so fast and things change so quickly. Sometimes I’ve felt I am in a speed-dating game. Limited time, basic information. The only difference is that I’ve known these people for a long time, with some we go back many years, familiar faces from the past & present but still it always feels that you can’t penetrate the surface of their stories and day-to-day life over a quick coffee or dinner.

It would also be unfair to do this. To get to that you need to spend time together. Quality time. How do you define that? I define it as time where you do absolutely nothing with the other person. Do nothing. Just be with them. No fancy trips, dinners, spas and outdoor activities. All wonderful, no debate but all these are ways to be with someone. These are the glue and color of the memories you build together and no-one really likes black-and-white TV so we all desire them. But they’re still the method, not the objective. They are the means not the end. I really believe this and I got to realize it more and more as the years go by and things seem to move a lot faster than before. At the end you don’t need much, you don’t need “surroundings” to be with someone. You need the person. This is the biggest reality I have to face being away from the people I love and miss: friends, family, the girl that’s on my mind but not close enough…I’ve had the most wonderful of times in the most simple surrounding and tough situations. From the shitty military base with my army buddies to the dark run-down bar in Athens where I went as a uni-student, to the old shabby Citroen my dad had and I used for my first outings, up at Imitos mountain. Just sitting there, radio crackling, friend in the passenger seat and a can of beer in my hand. That's when time slowed down and other things started to matter, the real things...

So what is it at the end? Do I miss my childhood memories & friends or do I really miss “that place”. I guess the answer is not the same for everyone…